Moving On Doesn’t Mean We Forget


Every year without fail, November 21st comes around, and with it, the memories of my sister Kathy’s’ murder. Kathy was savagely beaten, raped, strangled, and run over by a car. Her naked, lifeless body was discarded in the woods three miles from our home. I always thought an arrest would be made.

The loss is still heartbreaking and I miss her. I struggle to remember aspects of her personality. I can’t recall her voice, her laugh, her gestures, or her joking ways.

This summer I did a book signing at Gibson’s Bookstore in New Hampshire. A woman approached me after everyone else was gone. She told me, “I’m afraid I’ll forget him.” Her soul mate, her love had recently past away, and her greatest fear was she’d forget him. I empathized with her; the fear is real.

She had mementos from trips they’d taken and from the special life they had together. I suggested she start a journal. “Take the things you’ve collected and write about them. Use words to help remind you of the funny things he used to say, and about the trips you took together. Place the mementos with your stories. When you feel you’ve forgotten him, you’ll have your journal to help remind you of the love you shared.”

People told her to move on. “Moving on doesn’t mean we forget, or that we won’t grieve our loss years later. We learn to function after our loss, and we still reminisce. Sometimes reminiscing will make us laugh and other times cry, but either way, it’s okay.”

With tears in her eyes, she said, “I’m going to buy a journal.” We hugged, and I watched her walked away. That was an emotional conversation for me, but like so many other times, Kathy was in it. I know the fear of forgetting a laugh, a smile, or a joke. Its happened to me, and it hurts.

My goals today are different from years in the past. I don’t want Kathy to be forgotten. I hope what happened to her would cause others to make a difference in this world. One person can’t conquer the world, but one step forward can leave a positive mark.

The books, the speaking engagements, and the conversations I have with other families suffering from loss are the ways I show my love for her.

Love you, Kathy. Kisses and hugs forever…





Using technology can create activity on your unsolved murder or missing person’s case. When years have past since you’ve heard anything from law enforcement and you feel like nobody cares anymore looking for ways to make people aware can help. We want others to know our loved one’s murder or missing person’s case continues to be unsolved. Blogging is one way to do that.

I use WordPress and have blogged since 2009. When I started out I didn’t expect it to be what it is today. People follow it, respond to it and seek help through it. It’s been a source of facts, a trail of history for me. I’m able to look up events, dates, places and people I’ve had contact with. WordPress is an avenue I use to share information with others. I use it to post updates on the sequel to A Child is Missing and let people know of past and future speaking engagements. I can quickly pass on information about Kathy’s case, Cold Case Units and laws that need our attention.

There’s so much WordPress can do and I’m sure I don’t touch the surface of it’s potential. Quite frankly I get overwhelmed with keeping all my information websites updated. I have three Facebook pages, one personal and two others for the book and unsolved. I have an official book page, an Amazon, and Goodreads page. I also update LinkedIn. But WordPress has been my number one information site since I began telling people about my sister Kathy, promoting the book and expressing my passion in speaking to law enforcement about cold cases. I share my desire to see Cold Case Units started in every state.

In the beginning, I had no idea what to do but allowed patience to be my guide as I fumbled through the process. Initially, my daughter Joscelyn helped me get started. Since then I’ve advanced a little. I’m more capable of making changes. I set up another WordPress site for someone else seeking justice for her sister. You’ve heard the saying, “If I can do it anyone can” and if you knew me you would understand this to be true. Start your blog and share your story.

Use your blog site:

To release information~

To post pictures~

To encourage the public to get involved ~ When it comes to years of empty answers don’t be afraid to step out of the box in hopes of creating activity on your case.

To promote interviews with the media~

To interact with those understanding your pain~

To allow HOPE and purpose while you wait~



I am extremely happy to report the New Hampshire Cold Case Unit will continue to serve the state in solving cold cases.  The unit was in jeopardy of being dissolved at the end of June 2013.  Working with information from previous and current dedicated investigators the unit will continue to work on cold cases and make arrest.  The New Hampshire Cold Case Unit has given hope to families waiting for answers, many for decades.  On my next speaking engagement it will be my pleasure to announce to detectives in Ohio that the unit remains active.  I will report on their progress.  It is an encouragement to all law enforcement that work on homicides.   

Please visit their website and see the arrest they’ve made.